The Happy Hookers Guide to Sex

“Don’t be annoyed at women for faking orgasm. If for some reason we women fail to have an orgasm at the prescribed moment, it is so much easier to fake one that it is to deal with the series of ‘No, I didn’t, darling, but it wasn’t your fault . . .’ and all the other ridiculous conversation that will inevitably follow.” (Xaviera Hollander, Penthouse Magazine, April 2001)

My name is Kate. I am American (a Midwestern farmer’s grand-daughter), born in Holland, Michigan, and christened with a very Dutch name – Katje, pronounced ‘Kat ya’. I was always Kate, until married and with three children in tow, I moved to the Netherlands, and there, I became ‘Katje’. I have spent the last ten out of twelve years in Europe, one mile from the city of Amsterdam, the capital of free expression.

I learned two eye-opening lessons from living abroad. The first is that the manner in which most Americans view the subject of sex and relationships is miles and miles away from how Europeans think about sex and relationships. We lived among Europeans during the Monica Lewinsky scandal and throughout the hearings, all we could hear from all around was the clucking of euro-tongues, and an occasional summation: “My

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Men may not buy advice books but fortunately, the ladies are buying them for the men. And if their man doesn’t read, the clever ones are reading it to their men. The book costs only ten dollars and if he registers only a small portion of the information presented, it will be a quality of life improvement for you worth thousands.

Men, I know you don’t like advice books, and you may even have read a sex tip book recently, and came away feeling cheated. This book is different! Men who have read it say the same things:

“It is so crisp and fresh!”

“It provided me a whole new prospective on women and romance”

“I loved the quotes!”

“Although I felt I knew most of these things, they are contrary to what is politically correct, so I wasn’t doing them!”

“Fun book - and I enjoyed the 50’s retro art work inside – very cool!”

This book provides a fresh approach to sex and relationships, is an easy-read, and most of all, it is HUMOROUS. Sprinkled through-out the book are quotes from comedians and other famous folk. A few examples:

“Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.” – Woody Allen (Chapter 4 No Complaints)

“There is very little advice in men’s magazines, because men think, ‘I know what I’m doing. Just show me somebody naked.” — Jerry Seinfeld (Chapter 6 Learn to Love Your Body)

“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.” — Robin Williams (Chapter 13 Train Your Body)

“According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.” — Robert De Niro (Chapter 21 Engage in Dress-Up Play)